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  • Cassie Stockamp

Christmas musings!

Updated: Jan 6

It was December 22, 2022 the morning after the winter solstice. I had set my alarm for 7am so I could get back on a better sleep schedule after returning from Thailand. The sky was still dark as sunrise was at 8:04am…

I came downstairs and saw the familiar. Dad sitting in his worn black leather swivel arm chair positioned at the kitchen table in the exact same location as every other morning reading the morning newspaper; a worn, large plastic travel mug full of milky coffee sat on his right. We exchanged morning pleasantries when my brother emerged from the blue bedroom and traveled across the living room into the kitchen.

Segue: My entire family converges on the ranch every Chrismas. 13 of us for 6 days focusing on family. My 33 year old nephew tells his friends that this is his favorite week of the year. We play Dominos, Balderdash and Catch Phrase, a puzzle is always on going on a card table in the corner, we have euchre tournaments (competitive family is probably a little too nice of a term) and if enough snow has been laid down, we play crack the whip pretzeled onto round sleds pulled by a pick up truck in the front field. We cook together, drink together, have many laughs, and I can’t lie, at times a few tense conversations, as we are all over the board in our belief systems. I have spent 61 Christmases with my parents, 60 with one brother, 57 with another and every Christmas with my kids, nieces and nephews as they are old… Whew.

Back to the morning… My brother is not one for many morning words and headed into mom’s office where his laptop was atop the desk. Except this morning mom was at her desktop listening to the morning news seated in his desired location. I suggested that he bring his laptop into the kitchen and join us.


I found myself with Dad across the table, brother to my right and mom flitting in and out on my left. The conversation that followed is what I so thoroughly love - go deep or go home!

Now a little context. I had been at the ranch for a day prior to the arrival of my brother and his family and had a “highly animated” conversation with my mom over politics the prior afternoon. She and I are literally on either end of the political spectrum, and we eventually found our annual truce - to each hold our truths lightly.


So when mom sat down at the breakfast table that morning the conversation started. We traversed the spectrum from medical assisted suicide, psychadelic experiences, AI to quantum mechanics…

We explored the notions of multiple time realities and how that interfaces with the emerging science of wormholes. We talked about quantum computing and an experiment that utilized a quantum computer that held only 56 “quantum transistors” which was pitted against the largest computer in the world which held over a million transistors. 

Segue: Mom asked a very good question. How do you describe a transistor? Kurt gave a thorough and understandable answer, but first I should describe my pragmatic brother. He went to a small liberal arts college for his undergrad degrees which consisted of a major in chemistry and minors in biology, math and physics followed by Vanderbilt med school. Ok, the stage is set…


He described a transistor as a carbon process that creates the binary off/on system of a computer. A quantum “transistor” is no longer a binary on/off system, but rather it allows for both answers to be possible. The visual of a carbon transistor is a Y where the intersection is the notion of off/on and only one path was possible. In quantum computing both paths are viable and all paths are computed simultaneously.  Kind of mind blowing.


The outcome of posing an unanswerable question to the largest computer in the known world was hypothesized to take 10,000 years to solve. It took the quantum computer 90 seconds.

Just think about the possibilities with that in mind…

From there we moved to the notion of multiple time realities happening simultaneously - quantum entanglement the result of wormholes. Scientists have miraculously/mysteriously been able to track one particle in two places at the same time and somehow we followed that trail to talk about the notion of predestination… 

I then went on to describe an event where I “knew” that my family had been in a car accident without having any evidence, only to find that my premonition had validity. Kurt went on to describe his experiences with precognition and how he’s learned to act on these premonitions as when he hasn’t acted, the best outcome has not resulted… Following his gut so to speak…

I sat there kind of stunned as my pragmatic brother sounded about as woo woo as me at that moment!! LOL

The conversation ended as more people came to the room and breakfast took over. Actually a clogged toilet took precedence! LOL


I took to the streets for a morning walk and had an awareness that I will try to put into words.The story that I tell myself and allows me to navigate the world in a place of peace is one of reincarnation. I believe that we come into this world to learn certain lessons in this lifetime. It all became even more clear to me that foggy morning.


I revolt against the notion of pre-destiny and yet I had a new awareness that day. The quantum transistor of our lives is exactly the same as the one in the quantum computer. ALL paths are available to us which provide innumerable life experiences/Ys, yet every path ultimately directs us to the lessons we set in motion upon incarnating on this earth. The quantum transistors in our lives are the decision making points. All paths lead us in the same general direction, but one path may divert us and may make the path a little longer or a little more or a little less challenging. 

Could it be that the ultimate life path lessons are the predestination concept and the Ys are the free will...??

What I came to understand on the walk around Coesse is that one way to look at our life’s journey is that we may be on this earth to try and find the easiest/smoothest/drama free path to learn our lessons. That’s it… Nothing earth shattering, but that new notion (to me) helped me to meld and bridge the chasm between my spirituality and science! 

And I was reminded that the only times I have the “ahas” are when I am quiet… 

Happy New Year 2023!!

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